In case you were interested in using vodka to measure the merits and statuses of sex workers, I’ll just direct you here…
…for making sure I didn’t actually take a few days off this holiday week!
What a charming little undergarment you were planning on selling to the masses this Black Friday:
Every 7 year-old girl needs a thong (like, I could end the sentence there!), that also broadcasts to the world that they’re diggin’ for gold before they’re even old enough to have a checking account of their own!
The perfect holiday gift for your first grader. The message that baring their buns will be rewarded with a wealthy partner. Cheers!